RaptureProof™ Mug

Name: RaptureProof™ Mug
Brand: Sacred Cow Diner
Price: 21.45 CAD
Availability: InStock

$21.45 CAD

Say goodbye to unplanned ascensions with our RaptureProof™ Mug. Patented Sky Shield™ Anti-Ascension Coating Technology is the world’s first anti-Rapture surface treatment, scientifically* engineered to repel divine tractor beams, celestial vacuums, and spontaneous upward drift. Liberally pre-applied to this product, you can enjoy the confidence of knowing you’ll stay grounded when the trumpet sounds.

(*By “scientifically,” we mean “imagined while laughing over nachos.”)

Featuring:
Sky Shield™ Coating: Invisible anti-ascension film, scientifically tested against helium balloons and church youth group lock-ins.

Prophecy Jammer: Disrupts any frequency generated by shofars, trumpets, or poorly translated numerology.

Trumpet Resistant: Field-tested against shofars, bugles, and overenthusiastic youth pastors.

All-Weather Durability: Rain, shine, or apocalypse, it keeps you stuck like duct tape on a church pew. Whenever the trumpet sounds, you'll be sure to keep your pants on.

Guaranteed microwave and rapture safe.

"Here today. Still here tomorrow." (Now smile and wave as those annoying religious friends float away.)

Select Size

11oz

15oz

Please select Size

Ceramic
11 oz mug dimensions: 3.85″ (9.8 cm) in height, 3.35″ (8.5 cm) in diameter
15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (12cm) in height, 3.35″ (8.5 cm) in diameter
Dishwasher and microwave safe

11 oz mug dimensions: 3.85″ (9.8 cm) in height, 3.35″ (8.5 cm) in diameter
15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (12cm) in height, 3.35″ (8.5 cm) in diameter

Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.